You are not in the wrong.Your daughter doesn't understand the word respect. She's just mad because you caught her. Enforce the boundaries, regardless if it's a friend or family member. It's your stuff. If someone wants to borrow it, they should ask and not assume. Have a conversation with her, it doesn't have to be a confrontation. Choose your words carefully because she's obviously on the defense. Let her know, that you are happy to help her when you can - but she shouldn't take things without asking. The other comment about saying your busy and you can't babysit.. not sure if you want to play games with your daughter. Just because she sounds like she may hold your grandson as a bargaining chip. But how you want to deal and what feels most comfortable is up to you.
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